It's a tutorial page for a strategy game set in hell. I haven't played the game, but the tutorial is good enough that i might have to try it. Or get Pat to try it and let me know if it’s any good.

The premise is that your "tutor" is a prince of hell, and he's an articulate but hate-filled thing-that-should-not-be who's completely underwhelmed by your mental prowess.

So he says wonderful, horrible things like:

   "and yet... i need... your help. When i said "need", i chewed off a small piece of my lip. When i said "help", i vomited. Consuming it calmed me."

and

   "my tears of mirth track through my nasal vents to form a foamy broth that i will enjoy while you return to the map."

and

   "we will attempt to provoke moloch. more than once, he has refused my broths."

and (after explaining what "clockwise" means)

   "my appendages curl and uncurl as i picture your vacant stare".

My personal favourite is “More than once, he has refused my broths.” I’m just waiting for the opportunity to slip it in to conversation next time we’re discussing someone who’s made a habit of irritating me :-)